🏆 The Picture Book That Breaks the Bedtime Routine
My Goldfish Is Bored.
…And Absolutely Done With It.
Gerald the goldfish has swum in circles. He's counted bubbles. He's stared at the plastic castle. Something has to change — and tonight, it will.
5–10
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⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Loved by kids, survived by parents · Instant digital + print editions
Why This Book
Three Reasons Kids Will Demand
This Every. Single. Night.
Most picture books are fine. This one is a problem — in the best possible way. Once you read it, they won't let you stop.
Deadpan Goldfish Humour
Gerald doesn't panic. He doesn't plead. He observes the chaos around him with the calm, weary energy of someone who has seen too much and expects nothing — and that straight-faced delivery is absolutely hilarious. Kids love it. Adults recognise it.
Escalating Absurdity
Each page turn cranks the nonsense up one notch. The dog gets a jetpack. The cat starts a podcast. The hamster runs for mayor. And Gerald? Gerald watches from his bowl, deeply unimpressed, as the world spirals magnificently out of control around him.
The Bedtime Punchline Ending
Just when you think you know where this is going — you don't. The punchline lands with the satisfying inevitability of a perfect joke, and delivers a bedtime moral your kids won't see coming but will never forget. Worth it for this alone.
Inside the Book
While Everyone Else Has Adventures…
The dog surfs. The cat swings. The hamster races. Gerald swims in a circle.
This is his life. He has feelings about it.
🐠 Gerald has witnessed everything. He remains unconvinced.
📖 Read-Aloud Teaser
Hear Gerald's Voice in Your Head.
You're Welcome.
An excerpt from Chapter Three: "The Incident with the Bubbles."
"Monday: swam left. Swam right. Counted the rocks. There are seven.
Tuesday: swam left. Swam right. The rocks are still seven.
Wednesday: the dog got a scooter.
I have no scooter.
I have seven rocks and a plastic castle with a flag on it.
The flag does not wave. Nothing waves. No one has ever waved at me.
Thursday: I have decided things will be different."
💡 Pro tip: read Gerald's lines in your flattest, most resigned voice. Children will lose it.
Perfect For Fans Of…
If Your Kids Love These,
They'll Adore Gerald.
We didn't invent deadpan animal humour — we just gave it a fish bowl and let it simmer.
"Think Mo Willems' Pigeon meets Diary of a Wimpy Kid — but the main character can't leave his bowl and has extremely strong opinions about it."
My Goldfish Is Bored! sits in a proud tradition of picture books that work on two levels — kids get the silliness, parents get the existential undertone. Like Memoirs of a Goldfish (Devin Scillian) in its dry first-person voice, and The Bad Guys (Aaron Blabey) in its comic-book energy and escalating chaos, Gerald earns his place on the shelf next to the greats.
What sets Gerald apart? He's not passive. He decides. And what he decides on that final page is the reason children will bring this book back to you every single night until the cover falls off.
🛒 Get Your Copy
Gerald Has Been Patient.
Tonight Is His Night.
Don't make him wait any longer. Add a little goldfish philosophy to your bedtime shelf — your kids will never be bored again.
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