My Goldfish Is Bored!
Meet Gerald. He swims left. He swims right. He counts the castle windows. Again.
This is the most dramatic fish you've ever met — and he's absolutely done with it.
Meet Gerald. He Is Very, Very Bored.
Gerald the goldfish has a bowl. He has a tiny plastic castle. He has three windows on that castle — he's counted them 850 times. What Gerald does NOT have is anything remotely interesting to do.
- 📖 A full illustrated digital storybook (PDF)
- 🎨 Bold, vivid cartoon illustrations on every page
- 😂 Dry humour that kids AND parents will love
- 🌙 Perfect length for bedtime — 11 illustrated pages
- 🐾 A surprise ending involving a very curious puppy
A Story That's Actually Fun to Read Aloud
Gerald's bone-dry commentary on the absolute tragedy of being a goldfish is guaranteed to make grown-ups snort-laugh at bedtime. Kids love it too — they get it more than you'd think.
Each day of the week brings a new indignity for Gerald. From counting the same three castle windows to watching the dog go on a WALK (a WALK!), the boredom escalates magnificently.
Sunday brings a mysterious box with air holes. Gerald is suspicious. The family is excited. You will not see this ending coming — and neither will Gerald. (He smiles. Just a little.)
Every page bursts with thick-outlined, vivid cartoon art that jumps off the screen. Gerald's expressions alone are worth the price of admission — that fish has RANGE.
Gerald's Week — A Teaser
"I swam left. Then I swam right. Then I swam left again. I am told this is called 'exploring.' I have explored everything. I have been everywhere. It took four seconds."
"The dog went on a walk today. A WALK. Outside. With SMELLS. I watched from my bowl. I have smells too. Mine is fish flakes. Every single day. Fish flakes."
"The small human pressed their face against my bowl today. Very close. Their nose made a flat white circle. They said 'BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP.' I said nothing. I am a fish of dignity."
The Dog Surfs. The Cat Swings. The Hamster Races.
Gerald watches. Gerald waits. Gerald swims a figure-eight. Then a figure-nine. He's pretty sure he invented a letter Q.
- 🐕 The dog has adventures. Gerald has a castle with 3 windows.
- 🐈 The cat has a whole outdoor territory. Gerald has one side of the bowl.
- 🐹 The hamster has a wheel, a tunnel, AND a ball. Gerald has… water.
- 🐟 Gerald has feelings about all of this. Many, many feelings.
Kids Beg for It. Parents Love It. Gerald Tolerates It.
"We've read this every night for two weeks. My 7-year-old does Gerald's voice now — full deadpan, zero expression. It's the funniest thing I've ever witnessed at bedtime."
"I laughed out loud on the Wednesday page. My son looked at me like I'd lost the plot. Then he laughed too. We both lost the plot. Highly recommend."
"My daughter is obsessed with Gerald. She has declared our actual goldfish 'probably also bored' and made him a tiny paper newspaper. This book changed our family."
Sunday. A Box. Air Holes. Everything Changes.
We can't tell you what's in the box. That would ruin everything.
What we CAN tell you is that Gerald swims left and right at the end — but this time, he smiles. Just a little.
Make Bedtime the Best Part of the Day
Download My Goldfish Is Bored! instantly as a beautifully illustrated PDF ebook. Read it tonight. Gerald is waiting. He's been waiting a while, actually. He's used to it.
Instant digital download · PDF format · Perfect for tablets, phones & reading apps · Ages 5–10